[Children] always say, "Do it again"; and the the grown-up person does it again until he is nearly dead. For grown-up people are not strong enough to exult in monotony. But perhaps God is strong enough to exult in monotony. It is possible that God says every morning, "Do it again" to the sun; and every evening, "Do it again" to the moon. It may not be automatic necessity that makes all daisies alike; it may be that God makes every daisy separately, but has never got tired of making them. It may be that he has the eternal appetite of infancy; for we have sinned and grown old, and our Father is younger than we. G.K. Chesterton, Orthodoxy, 60
11.28.2009
:: from Chesterton ::
11.16.2009
:: old times ::
"I've been so tired, but my heart's been on fire.
Too lazy to stoke it or put it out,
just watched me burn."
February 20, 2009
Too lazy to stoke it or put it out,
just watched me burn."
February 20, 2009
11.07.2009
:: identity ::
a fusion, perfect blending ... a mixing
I'm waiting for integration
hoping to find my walls breaking down;
to arrive ...
but I am lost. who do I kid?
I am working so hard to prove myself to you:
when you are not asking me for proof.
I walk into a BMV to get a license ... then stand
fumbling for a license in my purse to identify myself
but that's why I'm here in the first place
I need identification
and cannot prove myself to you ...
You must prove me to me ... then to the world
for I do not know who I am.
(July 15th, 2008)
I'm waiting for integration
hoping to find my walls breaking down;
to arrive ...
but I am lost. who do I kid?
I am working so hard to prove myself to you:
when you are not asking me for proof.
I walk into a BMV to get a license ... then stand
fumbling for a license in my purse to identify myself
but that's why I'm here in the first place
I need identification
and cannot prove myself to you ...
You must prove me to me ... then to the world
for I do not know who I am.
(July 15th, 2008)
10.24.2009
:: Poem ::
If the window to your soul is really open, deep and wide,
then you won't mind Me looking in, you'll let Me seek and find
You'll let me probe around a while,
You'll give me room to breath;
You'll let me settle in somewhere
you'll let me come and live
I only take what you will give.
I only come when you're open;
I only destroy so that I can rebuild.
I can only fix what is broken.
copyright 2009 Kara Tindor
then you won't mind Me looking in, you'll let Me seek and find
You'll let me probe around a while,
You'll give me room to breath;
You'll let me settle in somewhere
you'll let me come and live
I only take what you will give.
I only come when you're open;
I only destroy so that I can rebuild.
I can only fix what is broken.
copyright 2009 Kara Tindor
10.07.2009
:: go ahead, get lost. ::
Imagine with me, for just a moment, that the human being was capable of being successfully self-sufficient on this earth (we have to imagine it, because it really is impossible. If you don't believe me...then you're not going to get anything out of this).
Ok. Get this picture in your mind of people who can "do it" themselves. They can find happiness in the pursuit fame, fortune, and money. They can, on their own, have a stable life and love people deeply. They can work hard, be kind, be "good" (quotes there because, as Jesus says, "who is good but God?") people, raise children to be productive members of society, etc., and add to that list whatever you deem necessary to say that a person has had a successful life. The clincher to this is that you must imagine that people can do this on their own, apart from life with God; they don't need drugs, they don't need others, they don't need alcohol, they certainly don't need a god, religion, rules, or even society to keep them straight. They are completely self-made.
Got it? Good. Imagine that person dying, never having had communion with God on this earth, never having "needed" God because he/she was self-sufficient, and now facing the God of the universe to give an account for their life. What will they have to say? Will their earthly self-sufficiency warrant any reward in the kingdom? Will they really have gained anything? If they did not "need," then they never would have believed in a need for salvation, and subsequently, they never would have believed in Christ. So at this point, our imaginary friend is coming to realize that, for all their self-sufficiency, salvation is one thing they couldn't provide for themselves, and now it's too late.
Ok. You can exit your hypothetical, imaginary situation. I think this is part of Jesus' point when He challenges us with: "For what will it profit a man if he gains the whole world and forfeits his soul?" (Matthew 16.26) Because in the end, that man has gained nothing. What he thought was of value is actually of no value in the truest reality, the kingdom of God. "If anyone wishes to come after Me, he must deny himself, and take up his cross and follow Me. For whoever wishes to save his life will lose it; but whoever loses his life for My sake will find it." (Matthew 16.24-25) The principle here is that those who preoccupy themselves with 'saving' their lives (providing for themselves, accumulating for themselves, establishing themselves, etc.) are actually throwing their true lives to the wind, but that the smart people are the people who get lost.
Very counter-intuitive. I, the prideful, self-sufficient-wanna-be that I am, HATE to be lost. It gives rise to this feeling of inner, urgent panic and it must be satiated with being "found" as quickly as possible. If it's that bad in the geographical sense of being lost, how much more strange does it sound when Jesus tells us that we must lose our lives before Him, in the spiritual sense? That we have to stop trying to "make it" on our own, apart from Him. That we must stop striving, and trust Him. That we must have the most simple faith ... faith like a child.
You see, in all of our supposed self-sufficiency, and with all of the value that our society places on being self-made and stable, and thinking of all of the praise we give to those who are able to "accomplish" this in their lives: we're doing ourselves no favor by believing this lie. We're doing the world a disservice by celebrating the "whitewashed tombstones" of people (or ourselves) who seem to have it all together in life.
NOT POSSIBLE. You can't have it all together in life. No one does. No one ever has, except Jesus. So stop trying. Go ahead, get lost.
Ok. Get this picture in your mind of people who can "do it" themselves. They can find happiness in the pursuit fame, fortune, and money. They can, on their own, have a stable life and love people deeply. They can work hard, be kind, be "good" (quotes there because, as Jesus says, "who is good but God?") people, raise children to be productive members of society, etc., and add to that list whatever you deem necessary to say that a person has had a successful life. The clincher to this is that you must imagine that people can do this on their own, apart from life with God; they don't need drugs, they don't need others, they don't need alcohol, they certainly don't need a god, religion, rules, or even society to keep them straight. They are completely self-made.
Got it? Good. Imagine that person dying, never having had communion with God on this earth, never having "needed" God because he/she was self-sufficient, and now facing the God of the universe to give an account for their life. What will they have to say? Will their earthly self-sufficiency warrant any reward in the kingdom? Will they really have gained anything? If they did not "need," then they never would have believed in a need for salvation, and subsequently, they never would have believed in Christ. So at this point, our imaginary friend is coming to realize that, for all their self-sufficiency, salvation is one thing they couldn't provide for themselves, and now it's too late.
Ok. You can exit your hypothetical, imaginary situation. I think this is part of Jesus' point when He challenges us with: "For what will it profit a man if he gains the whole world and forfeits his soul?" (Matthew 16.26) Because in the end, that man has gained nothing. What he thought was of value is actually of no value in the truest reality, the kingdom of God. "If anyone wishes to come after Me, he must deny himself, and take up his cross and follow Me. For whoever wishes to save his life will lose it; but whoever loses his life for My sake will find it." (Matthew 16.24-25) The principle here is that those who preoccupy themselves with 'saving' their lives (providing for themselves, accumulating for themselves, establishing themselves, etc.) are actually throwing their true lives to the wind, but that the smart people are the people who get lost.
Very counter-intuitive. I, the prideful, self-sufficient-wanna-be that I am, HATE to be lost. It gives rise to this feeling of inner, urgent panic and it must be satiated with being "found" as quickly as possible. If it's that bad in the geographical sense of being lost, how much more strange does it sound when Jesus tells us that we must lose our lives before Him, in the spiritual sense? That we have to stop trying to "make it" on our own, apart from Him. That we must stop striving, and trust Him. That we must have the most simple faith ... faith like a child.
You see, in all of our supposed self-sufficiency, and with all of the value that our society places on being self-made and stable, and thinking of all of the praise we give to those who are able to "accomplish" this in their lives: we're doing ourselves no favor by believing this lie. We're doing the world a disservice by celebrating the "whitewashed tombstones" of people (or ourselves) who seem to have it all together in life.
NOT POSSIBLE. You can't have it all together in life. No one does. No one ever has, except Jesus. So stop trying. Go ahead, get lost.
8.26.2009
:: exactly ::
How many credit hours does it take to graduate from Ohio State with a Bachelor's degree?
191.
In all of my college career I've taken these random classes; fencing, choir, design...in my mind it was just for fun. I enjoyed them all to a certain extent, although fencing got really dull.
I found out yesterday, through a series of events far above my control (of which I will post in the future) that none of those credits were wasted. I needed every single one, so that at the end of December I will be done with coursework at OSU and be able to do some experiential stuff abroad, apart from the university.
If I hadn't taken fencing.....this couldn't be happening.
If I hadn't taken choir for 4 quarters, this couldn't be happening.
If I hadn't listened to that still small voice and took Design 797...the most random class ever which also set me up for the craziest job ever.....none of this could be happening.
What I hear Him saying is: it's not wasted. Every one of those classes was in His hand to bring me to today, where I can tell you that He is working visibly now, and I am stunned. Indeed He works all things together for the good of those who love Him and are called according to His purpose.
Don't sweat the small stuff -- who knows what bigger story it's a part of?
191.
In all of my college career I've taken these random classes; fencing, choir, design...in my mind it was just for fun. I enjoyed them all to a certain extent, although fencing got really dull.
I found out yesterday, through a series of events far above my control (of which I will post in the future) that none of those credits were wasted. I needed every single one, so that at the end of December I will be done with coursework at OSU and be able to do some experiential stuff abroad, apart from the university.
If I hadn't taken fencing.....this couldn't be happening.
If I hadn't taken choir for 4 quarters, this couldn't be happening.
If I hadn't listened to that still small voice and took Design 797...the most random class ever which also set me up for the craziest job ever.....none of this could be happening.
What I hear Him saying is: it's not wasted. Every one of those classes was in His hand to bring me to today, where I can tell you that He is working visibly now, and I am stunned. Indeed He works all things together for the good of those who love Him and are called according to His purpose.
Don't sweat the small stuff -- who knows what bigger story it's a part of?
4.24.2009
::believe::
"...the hand of the Lord is not so short that it cannot save,"nor the heart of the Lord so deeply dark that His substance He would change.(Isaiah 59.1)
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