At least, that's what gmail keeps telling me. Right on the homepage of my inbox it says so:
"you are invisible."
and then it gives me this nifty option to "go visible". ha. as if, after 21 years of being visible, i would wish to abandon invisibility after 24 hours. not likely.
sometimes i wish i was invisible. on the freeway this could come particularly in handy ... speeding along without a care in the world on the shoulder of bumper-to-bumper traffic: yes that would be lovely.
right now i don't think that being invisible would actually help with my weekend projects: i don't see invisibility helping me write these papers or get out of them.
no, it seems i am stuck: visible, and with deadlines. drat.
5.30.2008
5.21.2008
moving on
"This is the day that the Lord has made. I will rejoice and be glad in it."
or will i? wow, when i stop to think of this line that just came to me ... what an incredible concept. simple, but significant.
i think that God is revealing to me that i am not 'moving on' as He would desire. i have been living in the past, trying to resurrect the 'dead' - DTS. but it's not coming back. i'm not going back to DTS, ever. that time will never be alive again, and that experience if over, put to bed.
i'm not so good with moving on, though. i love to hold on to the good of the past, the great experiences that i've had, or the memories of something good. but life goes on, and God is calling: come. come. come. come. it's continual. it's moving. it's movement. perpetual, consistent, necessary.
more to come on this, as it is just coming to mind.
or will i? wow, when i stop to think of this line that just came to me ... what an incredible concept. simple, but significant.
i think that God is revealing to me that i am not 'moving on' as He would desire. i have been living in the past, trying to resurrect the 'dead' - DTS. but it's not coming back. i'm not going back to DTS, ever. that time will never be alive again, and that experience if over, put to bed.
i'm not so good with moving on, though. i love to hold on to the good of the past, the great experiences that i've had, or the memories of something good. but life goes on, and God is calling: come. come. come. come. it's continual. it's moving. it's movement. perpetual, consistent, necessary.
more to come on this, as it is just coming to mind.
5.16.2008
This Weekend.
Hello.
I know that you are all waiting, with great anticipation, to find out why this weekend (of all the weekends there are) shall prove to be so special in my life.
No, I'm not getting married.
No, I don't have a date.
No, I haven't found a church.
umm...what else?
No, I'm not going roller-skating.
No, I'm not going to a theme park (I don't like rollercoasters, remember?)
No, I'm not going anywhere.
This weekend, my big brother and his lovely wife are moving to Ohio from Denver! Yup! That's the excitement around here.
Of course, tonight I'm going to a play with a friend, tomorrow planting trees, having lunch with another friend, and going to another play; sunday I'll go to church somewhere, and go to a choir concert, and do stats homework...
So as you can see there are other exciting things going on. But the main event:
I know that you are all waiting, with great anticipation, to find out why this weekend (of all the weekends there are) shall prove to be so special in my life.
No, I'm not getting married.
No, I don't have a date.
No, I haven't found a church.
umm...what else?
No, I'm not going roller-skating.
No, I'm not going to a theme park (I don't like rollercoasters, remember?)
No, I'm not going anywhere.
This weekend, my big brother and his lovely wife are moving to Ohio from Denver! Yup! That's the excitement around here.
Of course, tonight I'm going to a play with a friend, tomorrow planting trees, having lunch with another friend, and going to another play; sunday I'll go to church somewhere, and go to a choir concert, and do stats homework...
So as you can see there are other exciting things going on. But the main event:
Yup. Here they come!!!
5.15.2008
closer to done!
Today I completed one part of the requirement for my Spanish class.
Crazy enough, this is an Honors 400-level Spanish class (and I'm a Spanish major, if you didn't know) and it is the easiest class maybe so far in my college career. That's saying something. Because I've had classes where the teachers throw candy at you just for raising your hands, and classes where all I had to do was sing beautiful songs, and classes that I almost slept through and did well in. It's just ironic, I guess, that it's an Honors class. and cake-walk-ish. :)
Anyways, today I did a presentation on reflexive verbs, and it went really well. Taking chips and salsa and candy didn't hurt my approval ratings with the crowd, but even my Prof (good ole Javier) commented that I did a very nice job. yay! Now all that's left (seriously, ALL that is left) is to finish this paper on the same subject email it to him!
So allow me to list below the requirements for this honors class:
homework, that Javier only checked for completion, and not correctness. 5-6 problems 2x a week.
one 20-minute presentation, in Spanish OR English (i mixed my languages)
one paper on the same subject as the presentation.
that's it. can you believe this?! I love it. and it's been such a fun class, with really nice people, i like to think we've bonded. but we probably haven't. oh well, i'll still take snacks to them....
have a great weekend. this coming one may prove to be on of the most exciting of my life...more to come on this.
kara
Crazy enough, this is an Honors 400-level Spanish class (and I'm a Spanish major, if you didn't know) and it is the easiest class maybe so far in my college career. That's saying something. Because I've had classes where the teachers throw candy at you just for raising your hands, and classes where all I had to do was sing beautiful songs, and classes that I almost slept through and did well in. It's just ironic, I guess, that it's an Honors class. and cake-walk-ish. :)
Anyways, today I did a presentation on reflexive verbs, and it went really well. Taking chips and salsa and candy didn't hurt my approval ratings with the crowd, but even my Prof (good ole Javier) commented that I did a very nice job. yay! Now all that's left (seriously, ALL that is left) is to finish this paper on the same subject email it to him!
So allow me to list below the requirements for this honors class:
homework, that Javier only checked for completion, and not correctness. 5-6 problems 2x a week.
one 20-minute presentation, in Spanish OR English (i mixed my languages)
one paper on the same subject as the presentation.
that's it. can you believe this?! I love it. and it's been such a fun class, with really nice people, i like to think we've bonded. but we probably haven't. oh well, i'll still take snacks to them....
have a great weekend. this coming one may prove to be on of the most exciting of my life...more to come on this.
kara
5.14.2008
4 out of 5 Kara's hate stats labs...
that isn't original. meaning, i didn't come up with that saying ... a friend came up with it in response to my 'status' on gmail today. :) it's not quite true, but it's fun because i happen to be in stats lab as i write. i don't hate it, i just would rather be at home.
i am really done with this quarter. which is too bad in the sense that i have 2 1/2 weeks to go, a few tests, a few papers, a few presentations. and my heart is ELSEWHERE. where? hmm.... i don't know.
option 1: Chico, CA. sometimes i close my eyes and see the streets, the places, the faces. i miss it ... and sometimes i wish i was there.
option 2: Guatemala. yeah ... it's pretty there. :) but to be there would be quite hard work, i know.
option 3: Columbus, OH. it's lame, i know...because it's so dang normal. but my heart is here in a lot of ways, with people, at OSU, at work ... physically, geographically, i'm here.
within option 3, there are more options! always options in my life. here in OH, my heart is sometimes:
1: at OSU - because God has me here getting a degree.
2: Speaking Spanish somewhere -- this hasn't happened yet but i think of it often.
3: with an unknown group of believers - unknown to me in that i have left my church and am looking to see where the Lord will lead me for fellowship.
today i wanted to give it all up. memories of Chico and DTS give me thoughts of going back and staffing, or doing a BLS so i can lead on DTS's. plus, there is a greater percentage of spanish speakers in CA than in Ohio. and what am i doing learning spanish anyways? i don't have a plan for it, i don't have anywhere to go, i don't have a purpose. except for obedience. and the desire of my heart. i don't know what it's going to look like. school is almost done for the quarter, but it's still demanding and i would rather be doing other things.
Oh Lord....help me! i am a confused kid.
i'm sure you weren't quite looking for that when you stumbled onto this post. sorry. :) just a little honesty about the state of my heart on rainy days.
it's interesting that looking back always seems better than the present. There's a Sara Groves song, "Painting pictures of egypt" to this effect, that we always think of the past in rosy terms even knowing full well that the past had troubles of its own.
the chorus:
I've been painting pictures of Egypt,
leaving out what it lacks
because the future feels so hard and I want to go back...
but the places that used to fit me
cannot hold the things i've learned,
and those roads were closed off to me
while my back was turned.
I don't know ... but it seems to me that everything is changing and if I'm paying attention I should be changing too.
so here goes.
um...if you read this, thanks. i appreciate your patience and desire to know my heart/mind!
love,
Kara
4:
i am really done with this quarter. which is too bad in the sense that i have 2 1/2 weeks to go, a few tests, a few papers, a few presentations. and my heart is ELSEWHERE. where? hmm.... i don't know.
option 1: Chico, CA. sometimes i close my eyes and see the streets, the places, the faces. i miss it ... and sometimes i wish i was there.
option 2: Guatemala. yeah ... it's pretty there. :) but to be there would be quite hard work, i know.
option 3: Columbus, OH. it's lame, i know...because it's so dang normal. but my heart is here in a lot of ways, with people, at OSU, at work ... physically, geographically, i'm here.
within option 3, there are more options! always options in my life. here in OH, my heart is sometimes:
1: at OSU - because God has me here getting a degree.
2: Speaking Spanish somewhere -- this hasn't happened yet but i think of it often.
3: with an unknown group of believers - unknown to me in that i have left my church and am looking to see where the Lord will lead me for fellowship.
today i wanted to give it all up. memories of Chico and DTS give me thoughts of going back and staffing, or doing a BLS so i can lead on DTS's. plus, there is a greater percentage of spanish speakers in CA than in Ohio. and what am i doing learning spanish anyways? i don't have a plan for it, i don't have anywhere to go, i don't have a purpose. except for obedience. and the desire of my heart. i don't know what it's going to look like. school is almost done for the quarter, but it's still demanding and i would rather be doing other things.
Oh Lord....help me! i am a confused kid.
i'm sure you weren't quite looking for that when you stumbled onto this post. sorry. :) just a little honesty about the state of my heart on rainy days.
it's interesting that looking back always seems better than the present. There's a Sara Groves song, "Painting pictures of egypt" to this effect, that we always think of the past in rosy terms even knowing full well that the past had troubles of its own.
the chorus:
I've been painting pictures of Egypt,
leaving out what it lacks
because the future feels so hard and I want to go back...
but the places that used to fit me
cannot hold the things i've learned,
and those roads were closed off to me
while my back was turned.
I don't know ... but it seems to me that everything is changing and if I'm paying attention I should be changing too.
so here goes.
um...if you read this, thanks. i appreciate your patience and desire to know my heart/mind!
love,
Kara
4:
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