it's times like these...

i like reminiscing. take last evening as an instance to prove my point. we were watching a girly movie and my darling and quite pregnant sister got up to use the restroom. we paused the movie so she wouldn’t miss anything, and in the few minutes that she was gone i fell into a state of amazement at: life.

it’s incredible and frightening how time passes so quickly and slowly simultaneously. it’s crazy to look back over the last 2 years and remember where i was, physically, emotionally, and spiritually. in the course of two short years i have run the gauntlet of my emotions concerning my future. i remember distinctly sitting out back of Trinity UMC one youth group night the summer or fall of my senior year and expressing to someone there that i was going to YWAM when i graduated because i couldn’t think of anything better to do than to serve my God in that way. then, for reasons i can’t tie together, i decided to wait and go to college first. i like to think it was God’s way of preparing me for what He has for me, but perhaps it was a free-will decision. (for a funny perspective on free will, check out Scott Adams’ blog).

anyways, in summation: two years has produced this varied response to the question “what are you doing with you life, Kara?”: 1) go to YWAM 2) go to Malone 3) go to OSU-N 4) go to YWAM Mexico 5) go to YWAM Chico. and to Chico i go! i prizzomise that short of some writing on the wall from Jesus i will go to Chico for DTS in January. i fully believe that is where God wants me, although at times it is not where i want to be.

there’s a lot to be learned on my end. even this movie that we watched last night, “the prize-winner of defiance, Ohio” taught me a little something. in it, the lead character (wife to a drunkard and mother of 10) keeps her family together and surviving by winning poetry and jingle contests. this woman shows the love of Christ m ore thoroughly and completely than i’ve ever actually seen in life. over and over and over again she gives grace, and more grace, and still more grace. don’t you think the human storehouses would cease to provide such measures of love and kindness? especially toward people who don’t deserve it and repeatedly lash out against it? yet love breaks through. at one point in the movie, the mother says these incredible words to her grudge-bearing daughter who is angry with her father: “forgive him so you can embrace this truly remarkable day.” it was a stunning example of the freedom in Christ when a person lays down their life for love. but boy, does it look hard.

i think the call to us is to lay down whatever it is in our lives that keeps us unlovely so that we “can truly embrace” these remarkable days that we are handed. i marvel at the consistency of love offered and the quality of it as well. it was so much like Christ’s friends, or at least what i imagine watching Christ interact would have looked like. funny enough, the whole movie brought to mind an old hymn that i had only ever heard the first line of. thankfully, my madre is a fountain of hymn-lyrics and she busted it out for me. i later found it in one of the old hymnals laying around and thought i would share it with you:

He giveth more grace when the burdens grow greater

He sendeth more strength when the labors increase;

To added affliction He addeth His mercy,

To Multiplied trials, His multiplied peace.

His love has no limit, His grace has no measure,

His power has no boundary known unto men;

For out of His infinite riches in Jesus,

He giveth, and giveth, and giveth again!

When we have exhausted our store of endurance,

When our strength has failed ere the day is half done,

When we reach the end of our hoarded resources,

Our Father’s full giving is only begun.

Oh, the depth of the riches both of the wisdom and knowledge of God! How unsearchable are His judgments and unfathomable His ways! For WHO HAS KNOWN THE MIND OF THE LORD, OR WHO BECAME HIS COUNSELOR? Or WHO HAS FIRST GIVEN TO HIM THAT IT MIGHT BE PAID BACK TO HIM AGAIN? For from Him and through Him and to Him are all things. To Him be the glory forever. Amen. (Romans 11:33-36)