returning - as promised

this is a fear that i have that i would appreciate prayer about: i am afraid that upon my return i will not have a place, any place. well, especially the place that i want. there are certain things that i desire to return to and i am afraid that when i return my place will be filled and there will be no need for me. and then i will exist in a quasi-existing state, living but not fulfilling any roles or contributing where my heart is passionate.

i suppose i know full well that since God has ordained for me to go then when He ordains for me to return it will be for His reasons again, and i will have a place. but in honesty i'm very happy with what i've built up around me and i enjoy being secure in my positions. perhaps that is something that God desires to strip me of.

i know the answer to my problems, i know the comfort for my fears.
but sometimes i just prefer to sit and wish for tears
i long for tears to flowing run from heart then down my face
to express what i have long since felt from bowing to Your grace:
the frustration that has been building deep in my mind
am i not doing this right?

school's out in another 2 weeks basically, thanks to God! i am ready to be done studying and attending classes. the end of the quarter marks one year for Micah and Marjorie to be in Bosnia and they will return to Denver that day! i am so excited. they will be home (here) for New Years and it will indeed be amazing to see them. this week, for thanksgiving, Josiah and Aleen are coming in town and i feel like i haven't seen them for years! it will be good to have some heart to heart talks with Aleen. i am so thankful for my family, i do give thanks for them.

i also want to say a huge and general thank you to God for love. totally for His love that draws us to Christ so we can live in love with the Divine one! and what a love. i am falling in love with the love of Christ and the person of Christ and i love it. it's all about love.

what i do? i do for Love. what You do? You do for You. All You do is rooted in Love, and i am rooted in You.