one down, 3 to go

last week was horrible., i’m not going to lie. Sunday was fine, monday and tuesday were AMAZING, wednesday was OK till about 1pm, then everything went downhill from there. and it went downhill till about saturday around 5.

that’s when it broke. i finally cried, and found peace to pray, and things got better. finishing with last night, the start of a new week, a NewLife, and a bit of a new perspective.

so today dawns finals week, of the final quarter for the year. pinned more to laziness than to concern for what’s going on, i studied perhaps a total of 40 minutes for my French final. that was this morning. i don’t even care. apathy knocks, and i welcome it in. still, one down and 3 to go. i’m pretty well pumped up.

one thing i am kind of wondering about is leaving: selfish pride says NewLife needs me, selfish fear says i need NewLife, God says “come to me”. i don’t understand why He’s sending me away at “such a time as this”. all that i know is that at this point God wants me in Chico in January, and not in Canal.

i’m not going to lie, i want to be here loving and being loved by my church family. i want to be a part of the restorative processes that are going to go on. i want to be a part of the new vision dawning and i want to see what God is going to reveal to NewLife. because it’s going to be amazing. hopeful, i wait to see how God’s light dawns on some of my very favorite people in the world. and also how it dawns on me, though i be far off.