further explanation. . .so that we all may understand each other

hi.

because two posts ago, i shared a poem that i had written this week. because it says i'm dying. because i don't to my knowledge have a terminal illness. because i still don't think i was lying!

i was writing, trying to comprehend what a reality shift is like. i was thinking of how my reality will completely change on January 6 when i go to DTS, but how my family's reality will continue on, just with me playing a different part. two realities. i have one life now, and will have one life then, but they are drastically different. i realized that it's as if my current life ends on January 6, and i die to the life that i know. but i live in a new life, a new reality! does that make any sense?

i'm sorry if it seems like i'm joking with the serious or have a morbid obsession with death. i'm writing to make sense of life and the world, and i do not lie, but my words have a different meaning to me than they may to you. i offer apology if i misled or worried any of my dear friends who are interested in my life. i guess there's just a little of the contemplative philosopher in me that goes nuts sometimes. read my poems as poems, read my prose as truth; and i pray you will see Christ in me.

blessings.